I was scrolling through Facebook and came across a post that one of my friends shared and it really got me thinking. The original post talked about a man who excused himself from company to wash dishes. His friend applauded him and said that it was great that he “helped” his wife around the house. His friend explained that he did not “help” his wife because when he did, he did not get praised for it. This prompted the man to sit down with his friend and explain to him that his wife did not need “help.” He washed dishes, he cleaned the house, he took part in daily chores because he was part of the family and should contribute. My favorite part was when he asked his friend, when was the last time you said thank you to your wife for all that she does during the day- the cooking, the cleaning, taking care of the kids, on top of all other responsibilities?
In today’s culture, we are woefully short on biblical men. We are woefully short on men who look like the intention of the creator of the universe. What we have is an abundance of men who look exactly like what the culture says they should look. We have an abundance of men who believe that if they take out the trash, then they deserve a ticker tape parade. We have an abundance of men who do not embrace or even take ownership in the raising of their children. Guys I am here to tell you, that’s not a man- that’s a boy who shaves.
God has called us to bigger things. He has called us to be partners with our wives- not supervisors. In Genesis 1:27, it tells us that God made man and woman in HIS image. We cannot be equal image bearers of the creator and then treat our wives like an employee. From the creation of man and woman, God’s intention was for them to complement each other, work side by side as teammates and partners. We have been called to complimentary service with our wives, supporting each other, building each other up, and working together in all things.
There is a hierarchy in our house that our boys know well. God comes first in our house, followed by their mother, and then they come next. You would not believe the criticism I get for saying that I put my wife ahead of my sons. To that I answer- if I want my sons to grow up to be good husbands and fathers, knowing how to treat women and how to love their wives, the only way I am going to accomplish that is if I demonstrate to them that same behavior at home. If I constantly put them or other things over their mother, they will grow up thinking that is how it is supposed to be. When our sons do something wrong and they act or respond like boys, I remind them that I am not raising boys- I’m raising men. I expect them to respond and act like men.
Men, let me encourage you to be the man God created you to be & partner with your wife. Cook dinner, clean the house, run the vacuum, thank HER for what she does daily, participate in life with your wife. Take care of your children while she reads, takes a bath, or heaven help gets to go out with her friends and have adult conversations. Go beyond that and pray for her and with her. Read the Bible together. Grow with her spiritually. Life becomes a little more bearable when you have someone partnering with you to get things done & on your spiritual journey. What you will find out of this are little boys that grow up to be men who care about & know how to treat their wives and you will find little girls who grow up to accept men who do nothing less than daddy did for her mommy growing up. More importantly, you will have a wife who feels loved & appreciated by a man who not only actively pursues God, but also pursues her in the process.
In Christ Alone,
Rev. Bro. Coach